After a lot of deliberation and stress over Christmas, my midwifery journey has ended. for now at least, it will always be a passion but the strain of the course, combined with uncertainty around jobs and a huge dislike of working in a high risk setting, means that now is not the right time for me. After initial relief, I am now feeling disappointed, unsure of what to do next and like I have wasted so long and so much time of the kids lives pursuing this, for nothing.
I fought against a thousand people for my place on the course too, I know I should be proud of what I've achieved, but I feel sad about it. getting a very good grade in my last assignment didn't help either. I know I was capable.
On a brighter note the boy is having a trial morning at a small waldorf school tomorrow, I really hope that we can get him settled soon, he needs to flourish and find himself. he will be eight in the summer and is so realdy to move on.
little C is continuing to change every day, she talks constantly! I can't believe she will be two in a few weeks, it seem like yesterday that she arrived, in our bedroom, in a lovely pool. I do feel a bit broody some days, but really, three is enough!
I am enjoying having time to knit, sew, bake and am now planning a homemade birthday for her. Knitted tunic, new doll, and a rainbow cake too.
We are off to centre parcs for half term, everyone is very excited about that indeed. We have. Luxury villa booked this time, I hope to get some time alone there to relax.
Tonight I am going to try and add pics to this blog......promise!
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