I really must! This blog was supposed to capture my journey to becoming a midwife, so I will try to post twice a week from now on.
Well, I have big oral exams on Thursday, and have only begun my study today. Kal took the children to enjoy some maypole dancing near to my mum, leaving me to study. And eat too many scones that I'd baked yesterday!
I always leave it to the last minute, all Easter I could have been revising but instead talked
Kal into fitting new kitchen while I enjoyed days out with the kids.
living without a cooker and sink for two weeks was less enjoyable! it's all finished now and looks lovely, but I'm facing a week of very late nights cramming for this exam. Some days I do wish it was over, I could easily walk away from it all.
The chances of getting job when I qualify are slim, there just aren't any. And if I am lucky it will be High risk stuff that I hate, I want to be with women having their babies at home. It all seems so out of reach at the moment.
I have to remind myself of hard it has been to get here. A year getting the qualifications to apply, a year of reading and obsessing over midwifery and than the stress of the interviews.
My place was chased by 20 others, they were unsuccessful. I AM lucky, but some times I just want to be with my baby. She was not here when I planned this journey, and it is hard to leave her.
But thankfully university and hospital have supported me, we are still breastfeeding at 14 months, exclusively! And co- sleeping and baby wearing and baby led weaning. And she is happy, and one day I may earn some money doing this too!
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